Hello Faithful readers
From Frustration to Freedom, just exactly how i feel
Im so glad that i don't think of food 24/7 anymore and can start to see life and my kids and my husband and my house, actually see these things and love them and appreciate them and experience them, such joy.
I still have a long way to go to get to where i want to be but i am thoroughly enjoying the journey and I'm just taking one step at a time into the life that i wanna live.
An example of how far I've come, we had some friends over today for a playdate, me about 4-6 months ago even a year to two years ago would have been STRESSING to the MAX, panicking about every misplaced toy, watching every move each child was making waiting for them do do something wrong, watching the food drop to the floor and feeling the heat rising within, i would have been such a nervous wreck by the end of it and not enjoyed a SINGLE minute of it at all...
But today a Completely different story, i felt relaxed in the chaos, i felt at peace with the noise and the tantrums and the mess and the beauty that is children, i could enjoy spending time with my dear friend and at the same time manage the children and not have one moment of panic or fluster or anger this is such a special way to enjoy life, and i can really appreciate it because i have been on the other side of this coin and its devastating, but now i can live in harmony with life and just be present in the moment...
I know that i am still miles away from the wonderful person id love to be, i want to reclaim the years i have lost with my hubby and i wanna walk the road to Amazing with him, here i have lots of work to do due to the mayhem i have created in our relationship due to my unstable behaviour, anger outbursts, irrational thoughts, harsh words etc etc, but i know that even that hurt can heal and i know that as i become the best me through Jesus Christ my Lord, my new food journey, LOTS of water and exercise everyday we will see the Sunshine after the Stormy season we have experienced and i am so Looking forward to those awesome days ahead!
I Know I am walking in to BETTER and i am so Thrilled
Walk with me and Cheer me on
God Bless Y'all
